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Check Your Arrogance at the Door-There’s No Place for It in Recovery

2/12/2015

3 Comments

 
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After a certain amount of time in recovery, it is a natural reaction to begin displaying a little confidence. Clean and sober a few months, you are probably feeling as though you are hitting your stride. In the beginning, just resisting the urge to drink or use was a major accomplishment. Maybe things have gradually improved at home, things are back on track at work, and you are finally getting your life back to some semblance of normal. The trust you lost during your addiction is returning each day that you stay clean and sober.

People cannot help but notice the difference in you as your self-confidence returns. Perhaps your pastor asked you to speak to a group of impressionable teenagers about the dangers of drug use or you were asked to lead your favorite AA group’s next meeting. All of these things are reasons to be proud of yourself.

Climbing back from the depths of addiction is no small feat. Celebrating each hard-won victory is to be expected; in fact, it is also encouraged. It is important for loved ones to see how seriously you take your sobriety. It helps others who struggle to maintain theirs to see that if they, too, put the hard work necessary into it that they can achieve the same successes. However, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and it is an easy one to cross over. People gravitate toward the former and can’t run fast enough from the latter.

Self Confidence or Arrogance: How to Know the Difference

Every accomplishment in life is worthy of celebration. Whether it is reaching another month of sobriety, reconciliation with one’s family, graduation from school, or a promotion on a job, we all have milestones to celebrate. Without them, life is full of drudgery. The arrogant person announces his victory, while the self-confident person humbly acknowledges the hard work needed to achieve it. Along with that acknowledgment, the self-confident person thanks those who helped her get there and does not insist she deserves anything but rather reminds us that all of us are capable of living a life that is sober.

The self-confident person identifies with those around him, regardless of the circumstances that brought them to recovery, the drugs they took, or their socioeconomic background; by contrast, the arrogant person works hard to repeatedly separate himself from those he deems different from himself.

Identifying it, Stopping it and Learning a New Way

Following rehab, if you decided to join a group that uses the twelve-step approach to sobriety, you will hear some common expressions in the rooms. Some of them might be: “it works if you work it,” “I am sober, just for today,” “one day at a time,” and “keep it simple, sweetie.” You will hear another every so often from members: so and so is “an ego maniac with an inferiority complex.” What that means is that oftentimes low self-esteem masquerades itself with a large ego. Whether you know it or not, the majority of people can see the difference, even if it eludes you.

Regardless of who we are or from what circumstances we came, at one point or another we all have bouts of low self-esteem. Being new to recovery, fear of relapse, concern about what others think, or being worried you will make a mistake at work, at home, or in a social situation can be paralyzing for anyone. This is all a part of the hard work that goes into staying sober that those with self-confidence acknowledge. Pretending these obstacles don’t exist can turn people off and can also be dangerous to your sobriety. Remembering that people will do their best to avoid arrogance, it is difficult to be successful at recovery if the people needed don’t want to be around you.

How to Turn a Scar into a Star

The wonderful thing about life is that no matter what, it is possible to redeem oneself. The same tools needed to climb your way out of addiction onto the path of recovery will be the ones needed to act with confidence and not with arrogance.

There is no need to strive for perfection. Nobody wants you to be perfect; they want you to be sober and happy. Impossible to reach perfection, there is only one way to go – down! Be humble, grateful, and honest. Many people misunderstand the meaning of humility. It doesn’t mean a low opinion of oneself but rather a modest opinion of oneself. To practice humility means to remove one’s ego from the equation. Once the ego is removed, gratitude automatically creeps in. When you downplay your own role, express gratitude for those who support you, and recognize the hard work needed, people will want to hear your message and gravitate toward you again.


3 Comments
Carlos Smith
5/31/2019 06:18:51 pm

I understand that arrogance is one of my biggest enemies and a behavior I despise. GOD help me to refrain from displaying this behavior....#humility

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Jan link
6/19/2019 07:36:48 am

Excellent article, thanks for sharing! I have a client struggling with this in his recovery, I know this article will help.

Reply
Susan Christian
8/5/2021 11:12:19 pm

Hello to everyone out here, I am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me … My name is Susan Christian , I live in London, UK. we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Emu for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 24 hours my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Emu casted on him that make him come back to me today, me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Emu for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Emu ,if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: emutemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website https://emutemple.wordpress.com/ fb page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341 and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

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