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Addiction and long term recovery

5/28/2015

2 Comments

 
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The Great Race: The First One To Finish Doesn’t Win
Recovery And Self-Care For The Long-Haul

By Paul J. Wolanin MA, CADC

The Marathon, Not The Sprint
Recovery from drug and alcohol addiction is a marathon, not a sprint.

Do you know how a sprinter trains for a race? They sprint! They focus on getting to their goal – the finish line – as quickly as possible. They use all their physical and mental resources within seconds to achieve their goal.

If you’ve ever watched top-level sprinters on television, you can see the intensity in their faces. They are hell-bent on staying one stride ahead of whoever is next to them. Their muscles flex, veins pump with blood and their eyes are fixed ahead. They do not let up for a second. Why? Because tiny mistakes have giant consequences in a sprint race – there is very little margin for error.

Addiction Recovery Is Like A Marathon
What about running a marathon? Have you ever watched one? That’s hard to do. A marathon is typically 26.2 miles and it would difficult to watch every single runner during the entire race.

First of all, the marathon course covers an enormous amount of ground. Secondly, there are usually dozens – if not hundreds or thousands – of people involved. Keeping up with every single one of them would be next to impossible.

What’s interesting about marathon runners is how in tune with their own abilities. Like staying on track in addiction recovery, they are:
  • They know their strengths and weaknesses.
  • They know how to pace themselves in order to conserve energy.
  • They set small goals along the way.
  • They do not focus on beating the person next to them.
  • They are masters of their own minds and bodies and know without doubt that the mind controls the body.
  • Most have mastered the “inner game” of distance running – they understand that failure happens in the mind first and in the body second.
  • Marathon runners know that they can only be as good as the food they use to fuel their bodies.
  • They have a level of dedication unlike most “common” runners. Marathoners may train for months on end for a single race.
Long Term Recovery: Is There A Finish Line?
I love the concept of distance running. It parallels addiction recovery in so many ways. Though I’ve never personally ran a marathon, I have several close friends that do so often. What’s so cool about a marathon is the idea of progress.

A sprinter can see the finish line. They can visually lock their eyes on their goal and give every ounce of their energy towards crossing the finish line first. It’s an all-out, no holds barred battle to get across that line.

A marathon runner can’t see the finish line. They cannot even see the entire course. They must constantly monitor their heart rate, breathing, hydration levels and pay attention to what their bodies are telling them. They have to deal with many variables and make adjustments along the way. I’ve been told that it takes great amounts of self-restraint to conserve energy when the body just wants to GO. The marathoner is a master of pacing and diligence.

Pacing And Diligence In Your Own Addiction Recovery

There is hope for treating drug addiction. These concepts of pacing and diligence apply directly to recovery and self-improvement. In fact, these two little words can have a dramatic impact on how you see success, failure and goal setting.

Let’s think of pacing as: “steady and consistent effort.” And diligence as: “careful and persistent work.”

Think about this and fill in the blanks as an exercise:

EXERCISE: What Are Some Long-Term Goals You Have?
  • For your recovery
  • For your health
  • Financially
  • For your relationships
  • With work
  • For your spiritual life
  • For your emotional well-being
  • For leisure
  • Other________________________
1. What areas of your life could you adjust to start working towards these goals?
2. What kinds of activities are you are most likely to procrastinate about?
3. What are the things that take priority in your life today? (Remember that what is truly important to someone is demonstrated through action).
4. What kinds of excuses have you used to avoid working on your goals?
5. What would your life be like if you DID NOT begin to work towards these goals?
6. Would COULD your life be like if you DID begin to work on these goals (using pacing and diligence)?

You Can’t Rush Quality
The concepts of pacing and diligence apply to everything in life. My Grandfather used to tell me “Son, you can’t rush quality!” and boy was he right! Good things in life take time to accomplish. Things that come too quickly or easily never last.

A great illustration of pacing and diligence is the 12-step program. I know that I will never reach my goal of being recovered – I can just keep making good choices; working the steps each and every day and trusting God. The longer I am in recovery, the better my life gets. The closer I become to God, the more I depend on Him to provide what I need. The less time I spend focusing on problems the fewer problems I have. I learned all of this through 12-step programs. I learned to be patient and to not pray for what I WANT, but for what GOD WANTS FOR ME.

All this took and still takes lots of time. I’m cool with that. I’ve learned that things will happen in my life when I am prepared for them to happen. Not before or after. Just when the time is right.

Put It All Into Perspective
I make progress. Sometimes it feels like I’m standing still because the speed of my progress does not fit my own expectations. This is when the marathon of life becomes a sprint and things start to go wrong. When I start sprinting instead of pacing myself I run out of steam. I get frustrated and make mistakes. My life becomes unbalanced.
I must remember to slow down and remember that pacing and diligence are the things that will bring me (hopefully) to where I am meant to be. This does not mean I do not have goals – I have many. I hope that you do, as well.

Take some time and review the questions in this article. If you’re feeling really adventurous, take out a pen and paper and answer the questions like you would in a journal. Be as thorough as you would like to be. A great way to open up the mind is to journal without borders (meaning that you are not stopping to re-read what you’ve written, checking for spelling errors, etc. YOU JUST WRITE). And check out these other tips and tricks for addiction recovery.

For now, just begin.

To be continued.

Photo credit: Steven Depolo

2 Comments

How to stop taking cocaine

5/21/2015

52 Comments

 
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Are You Ready To Face A Cocaine Habit?

Many people do not realize that cocaine is a highly addictive drug that directly targets the central nervous system. Cocaine’s addiction liability is one of the reasons that it has been scheduled as a narcotic, illegal drug in the U.S. And  people who use cocaine frequently are at seriously high risk of physical and psychological dependence.

So, how do you stop using cocaine? Can you just quit on your own? What happens once you stop taking cocaine? Find out what to expect after you stop a cocaine habit and how to safely do so here. Then, we invite your questions and comments about quitting cocaine at the end.

Can I Just Stop Taking Cocaine?

It depends.

In general, it is advisable to consult a medical professional before quitting cocaine. There are many factors involved when deciding on a course for cessation, the major one being your level of dependence and/or addiction. If you are highly addicted to cocaine, the answer to this question would be, “No,” as severe cravings are very likely to occur. Heavy users find it difficult to just stop, as they battle the strong urge to use to relieve the symptoms.

If you are an occasional user, it might be more likely that you can just stop taking cocaine, however, keep in mind that you will need to modify behaviors and be aware of triggers in order to avoid future use. So how should you get off cocaine? Let’s first explore what happens in the brain and body after you quit using cocaine.

What Happens When You Stop Taking Cocaine?

If you’ve been taking cocaine for a longer period of time, chances are that your body has gotten used to its presence and will protest when you stop. Why?  Cocaine works on the brain as a stimulant and causes the body to over-produce depressant effects in order to balance out. So once you stop using cocaine, these effects become noticeable. And when cocaine is no longer in the system, the central nervous system’s adapted functions only gradually normalize over time.

During the period when cocaine starts to exit the body – also known as withdrawal – you can expect to experience a set of symptoms commonly referred to a withdrawal symptoms. After a period of regular use, the body needs time to “figure out” how to regain homeostasis. So, when you stop taking cocaine… symptoms follow.

Side Effects When You Stop Taking Cocaine

Getting off cocaine is a good thing, a great decision!,  but it comes with a set of adverse side effects. The common side effects that occur when you quit taking cocaine can include:

  • depression
  • disturbed sleeping
  • fatigue
  • feeling agitated
  • increased appetite
  • slowing down of activity
Even though the effects are not physically tormenting, they should not be underestimated since they can still cause cravings and provoke relapse. This is why experts strongly recommended you consider emotional-psychological support during the first week or so of quitting cocaine until the side effects wear off.

Stop Taking Cocaine Suddenly

Suddenly stopping cocaine is certainly not pleasant for your body or mental health. In fact, this method can increase the likelihood of relapse, as side effects can be more severe and intense. Instead, get your body physically and mentally ready to cope with the absence of cocaine by means of slowly tappering down your dose. However, there are some cases when quitting cocaine cold turkey may be best.

Stop Taking Cocaine Cold Turkey

Heavy users may want to consider a cold turkey cocaine detox if there are not other viable options available for a controlled taper. However, going cold turkey off cocaine can provoke the so-called “crash period,” which is manifested by accompanied by a strong craving for more cocaine. When severe cravings occur, people often reach for other abusive substances or can even consider extreme ideas like suicide. This is why medical supervision is crucial during cocaine detox.

How Do I Stop Taking Cocaine?

Consult a medical professional such as a medical doctor, psychiatrist, or an addiction therapist (licensed psychologist) before you try to quit cocaine. While it is possible to quit without professional assistance, doing it on your own isn’t recommended, as it can be dangerous due to unstable mental health issues. A doctor can determine if a treatment facility may be best for you, or not, and will advise you on how to address withdrawal symptoms and be most comfortable during the process.

How To Stop Taking Cocaine Safely

Simply, the best way to stop taking cocaine safely is to seek medical assistance. Medical and mental health professionals can help you determine what is the safest way for your individual case, as all cases are unique and depend on a number of factors such as:
  • age
  • co-occuring disorders
  • general health
  • gender
  • medical history
  • level of dependence
If you are determined to quit cocaine on your own, stay surrounded by close and positive people. And seek help though support groups, psychotherapy, and/or people who your trust.

How To Stop Taking Crack Questions

In this article, we tried to cover the most common ways people quit cocaine and deal with the associated withdrawal symptoms. If you have additional questions about how to stop taking cocaine, feel free to ask us in the comments section below. We will try to respond to you personally and promptly.

Reference Sources: NIH: Drug Facts on Cocaine 
Medline Plus: Cocaine withdrawal

Photo credit: Nemo

52 Comments

How to support a loved one in addiction recovery

5/14/2015

2 Comments

 
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By: Maggie Harmon

Supporting Addiction Recovery (And Yourself)!


When a loved one suffers from untreated alcoholism or addiction we often think, “If only they got treatment; if only they got some recovery then everything would be fine.” We imagine that the big problem is the drinking or the drug use and if that went away then all of the other problems would go too.

So what do we do (as the loved one of the addict) when that person does finally get into treatment and starts on their journey of recovery? How do we support them in the experience they are having and at the same time remember to accept the reality of whatever their recovery might look like without getting caught up in hope, expectations, and desires that they may not be able to deliver on? Like everything connected to addiction it’s complicated!

The Early Stages Of Recovery

In the early stages of addiction recovery the individual may be experiencing a host of physical, emotional and psychological distress. They are finally coming to a place of acknowledging that they have a problem and are likely intensely focused on looking at their own experience. This can be both a relief for those around them and at the same time can bring up a lot of anger and frustration. After all it has been their substance abuse that has created or contributed to all kinds of problems and challenges. It is easy to feel intense anger at someone who all of a sudden is ready to get better, but can’t make better all the days, months or years of hurt.

We want to help our formerly addicted loved one, but we also need them to see us, to see what they have “done,” to acknowledge the impact of their substance use and after waiting for recovery it can be very difficult to wait longer for that individual to come to a place of seeing or understanding our pain. The hard truth is that sometimes that never happens.

A Plan To Stay Sane

So how can you help someone who is newly in recovery and keep yourself sane, serene and cared for at the same time?

1. Let go of ownership.

Remember that their recovery belongs to them. You didn’t cause the addiction/alcoholism, you could not control their use, and you cannot cure it either. Getting well belongs to the individual, don’t try to do it for them!

2. Be supportive, not controlling.

It’s okay to let them know that you are happy or excited or hopeful about the recovery; it’s great if you want to offer support – being open to listening, giving them a ride to a meeting, making plans that are an alternative to the old patterns. But be careful and check-in with yourself to make sure that an offer to help doesn’t become a requirement to do something a certain way and an attempt to control. You might ask, “do you want me to drive you,” but stay away from, “I’ll drive you everyday (to make sure you go!).”

3. Have boundaries.  

Know what is or is not acceptable to you in your loved one’s progress. This is important to not only take care of yourself but also to keep you away from trying to control how or what they are doing. This might mean that you have a back up plan in case their recovery doesn’t work out, or it might just mean that you let them know what you can or cannot change even as they change. Remembering that you matter, and that your needs are something that only you can manage will help to keep you away from focusing entirely on your loved one and their behavior.

Addiction Recovery Is The Beginning

Living with and/or loving someone with a substance abuse problem can be devastating in so many ways; but what is incredibly upsetting to learn is that recovery alone does not solve all of those problems. In fact it can often create new problems, or reveal challenges that we always blamed on the alcohol or drugs but was really something independent. Recovery is about exploring a new path and a new way of living, for everyone involved, and making sure that you are paying attention to your own experience, even while you are caring about your loved one can be one of the best ways forward.

Photo credit: Ali Moradi
2 Comments

How to leave an addict? (Let go!)

5/7/2015

1275 Comments

 
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By: Amanda Andruzzi 
Do you love an addict? Is addiction destroying your relationship your family? Do you find yourself looking online to find out how to help an addict? Are you exhausted by the relationship? Are you finally starting to realize you have to let go?

Here, we explore some of the thinking behind why you stay with an addict. And we invite you to let go of the fear and to do something different. More from someone who has been there, with a section for you to share your questions or situation at the end.

Do You Find Yourself Saying…
  • “I am scared that if I leave they will die or be homeless or kill themselves.”
  • “I am afraid that if I leave, they will get better and find someone else.”
  • “I am frightened of being alone.”
  • “I am petrified that I will never love anyone like I love the addict.”
  • “I am fearful of telling my friends and family how bad things really are.”
The one thing all of these statements have in common are the words: SCARED, AFRAID, FRIGHTENED, PETRIFIED, FEARFUL. These are all just different words for feelings of fear. It is difficult to think about letting go of someone when you have so many fears about leaving. But, moving on after a relationship with an addict may be just what you need.

Where Does The Fear Come From?

There is seldom a person who is thinking about leaving an addict who does not feel a powerful and sometimes overwhelming sense of fear. If your love for someone consists of fear, you should look at the source of the fear. We all experience love and friendship, but if something is not right, there is someone else out there for you.

It is a healthy thought to know that life can go on beyond a relationship that has failed regardless of who is to blame. If you have a fear of leaving someone, especially when the situation is toxic, then you must turn the mirror on you and take a look. Check out these symptoms of a codependent marriage for a start.

Furthermore, the fear of letting go is usually blown out of proportion because of the dramatic nature of this type of relationship. The ups and downs of dealing with an active addict may put you in a cycle of elation and depression. This fear may be a symptom of a deeper problem engrained in experiences from the past and not so much the present. The fear itself may be unjustified in the present situation.

Let Go Of The Fear

Life will not end for you if you leave an addict. Life may only just begin again. Because addiction can beat you down, you can become used to an attitude of negativity. A lack of enthusiasm for life can become the norm. And even though you may look at addiction as a disease, you cannot blame yourself or hold yourself accountable for someone else’s conscious choices.

If the fear comes from a place where you think the addict may fall apart without you, then you should take a good look at that. You are not responsible for anyone else, especially if they are mistreating you. When you play the role of caretaker, the addict usually dictates how you exist. If you can look at your role in the relationship and what it means to you, why it keeps you from leaving, and why it holds you back, you may be able to see the situation through objective eyes. Gaining perspective usually alleviates the fear.

The Underlying Truth: You’ve Got Issues

My husband and I were together for twelve years and we had one child. He had cheated on me, lied to me about everything, used drugs in our home, disappeared, and was verbally and emotionally abusive and yet I could not let him go. I had to ask myself if this was a problem with him or with me. The one good thing about my husband’s addiction was that I learned a great deal about myself. I allowed this to go on for reasons that had little to do with him and more to do with me.

Q: What can you do if your loved one is an addict?

A: Let go!

It is naturally hard to let someone you love go, despite the situation. But what I learned through my fear was that I had insecurities and underlying unresolved issues from my past. I was using my husband’s drug addiction to deflect my own issues. My husband was hiding behind drugs and I was hiding behind them too. I was able to point the finger at what was wrong with him so I did not have to deal what was wrong with me.

Facing Yourself Starts The Healing ProcessOnce I started to delve deeper into my personal issues and uncover self-confidence, the fear lessened. In fact, over time, the fear went away and letting go became a lot easier. When I was no longer afraid to deal with my own troubles, I did not want to be in a relationship with someone who was still afraid to deal with theirs.

If your relationship with an addict is more than you can handle, you may be thinking it is time to leave. If you find yourself daydreaming about a new relationship with a partner who is not an addict, you may be ready to move on. But you don’t need to do it alone. Please share your story, questions, or comments in the section below.

Photo credit: 
FlashBuddy
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