​Depression Can Be A Learned Behavior
My first experience with depression came when I was about nine years old. It was an early Saturday morning, and I was just waking up when I heard a labored breathing coming from my mother’s bedroom. I knew something was wrong, and I yelled for my grandmother to come quickly. That was the day that my mother tried to take her life.

As I grew older, depression seemed to linger in my own life until my early twenties when I found myself sitting on an overpass, wanting to end it all. Life has taught me that depression can be addictive, based on the perception of despair in the mind. Many depressed parents have children who also struggle with depression and anxiety as they get older.

However, the way that each person approaches depression and anxiety can vary. Here, we explore healthy ways that you can cope with depression and addiction. Then, we invite your questions or comments in the section at the end.

Do You Feel Normal In Depression?
When we learn to deal with despair and conflict as children, we adapt to and react to issues as we are shown. Our parents model for us how they cope with life. In this way, we often adapt to their style of handling fear, anger and stress. So, how we deal with life is just as much learned as it is experienced.

I found that the “normal” behavior I was used to was based on the approach my parents took. Depression felt addictive because inside of it, I felt normal. As I grew up, my safety and security came through the unstable environments of those I loved. It took some time to realize the creating a new normal and breaking the curse of depression did not somehow separate me for those I loved. Instead, I had to create a new path to help myself heal.

Dealing With Depression In Your Daily Life: 7 Tips
If you or someone you love is dealing with depression, please know that better things are just around the corner. In fact, there are many sources of help for depression related to addiction. Here are seven tips for dealing with depression in your daily life:

1. Begin with prayer and meditation. Start each day with a quick prayer to thank God for all that you have. There is always a gift we can choose to focus on. Ask what could you learn today not only to help yourself, but to help others. Meditation takes contemplation a step further, during which you ask for guidance throughout the day.

2. Read a devotional. Read written quotes of endurance and overcoming adversity. Seek devotionals that inspire you and look for the examples of God’s principles and promise; ask God to reveal them to you. Depression in addiction recovery does not need to dominate your thoughts.

3. Do something active: Walk, run, clean or get organized. You can pick from a number of activities, but be sure to keep the body moving until it’s time to rest. It raises your overall well-being and gives us security. Activity also provides us with strength in brain function.

4. Journal: Keep a journal of your struggles as well as your new promises. Be honest in your writing; get your thoughts out on paper. Avoid “why me” questions and focus on how can I become stronger, wiser and more helpful to others.

5. Seek wise counsel: Stay in touch with a quality pastor, teacher, mentor, or health professional. You’ll want to find someone with a high level of integrity whom you admire. If they are not trained or have walked through depression themselves, try to find someone who has.

6. Seek a new perspective: Focus on growing yourself and learning new things. Always try to look at the healing process in a new way. Your purpose may one day be to teach others how to overcome depression. Don’t automatically assume your first thoughts on a situation are reliable. Instead, weigh them against scripture, counsel, and the evidence you have.

7. End with prayer: At the end of each day, before you go to bed, tell God everything you want to say and ask Him for His wisdom and direction in your life. I was scared at first to tell Him everything only to find that’s what he wanted all along. With every new tear came a new comfort.

In your Service,
Stephen Scoggins

www.addictionblog.org

Addiction has a negative effect on all the people close to an addict. The loved ones of addicts endure lies, manipulation, emotional and sometimes physical abuse. The daily reality for co-addicts is centered on fear, sadness, pain, and worry. This way of life can eventually take its toll on family members. Serious mental health issues may surface as a result.
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Here, we review the two main mental health disorders which can surface as you’re living with someone in active addiction: Depression and Anxiety. Then, we invite your questions, comments, or stories in the space at the end. In fact, we try to respond to all comments personally and promptly.

#1 Depression
​Depression feels like you have a hole in your chest where your heart used to be. Feelings of hopelessness and displeasure become overwhelming. Prolonged depression can affect your health both mentally and physically. Persistent sadness may lead to clinical depression which can affect:

• eating habits
• hormones
• mood
• pleasure
• sleeping habits
• your thoughts

When you are depressed, there is no easy way to snap out of it. You lose the ability to get up and decide to be happy. This is where depression becomes a problem. Major or clinical depression can negatively affect how mechanisms work in your body and your brain. But there are ways to cope with depression and addiction in the family.

Situational Vs. Major Depression
Depression can come and go due to the situation. You may experience depression due to a trauma, loss, divorce, or other factors which will eventually work themselves out over time. But how do you know when depression is short-term, or long-term? And how can you get help?
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When loving an addict and living with an addict in denial, it is likely the situation has lasted a long time and will continue for an unidentified amount of time. Living with constant unknown and instability and watching someone you love decline can cause situational depression to evolve into major or clinical depression. Here are some major symptoms. Clinical depression may cause you to:

• withdraw from people
• withdraw from situations
• quit social activities
• avoid things you used to do

​Dealing with depression in daily life can be learned. However, some cases require professional help. Depression can be so severe it causes suicidal thoughts, complete hopelessness, and may need to be treated with behavioral therapies and medication. When negative circumstances do not go away, that is when unhappiness can make the transition from situational depression to long term mental health issues.

Living With And Addict Can Cause PTSD
So, what can potentially happen when you internalize the depression and anxiety over time? I can tell you about this possibility by sharing something with you from my own personal life.

Living with an addict for twelve years, I lived with uncertainty for a long period of time. When the situation finally ended I felt free and learned to live my life and be happy. It was not until years later that I had an episode of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that came out of nowhere.
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It was a devastating period of my life where depression and panic disorder was so severe I could not function at all. I felt as if my life was over and could not cope with any situation, even things as simple as bathing my children. I could not speak without crying, focus, maintain a thought and my mind was racing with fear every moment of my waking and sleeping hours.

Long-Term Effects Of Life With An Addict Can Be Treated
What I uncovered with the help of a therapist, meditation and deep introspection was there were long-term effects due to living with an addict for twelve years. Jumping right back in to life feet first left underlying issues unresolved, residual stress, and new stress that I did not have the time or consciousness to deal with.
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So, when I moved a thousand miles away from all of my loved ones it was just this very traumatic event or spark which ignited my PTSD. As happy as I was about my new life, husband, and my three beautiful children, the effects of my twelve years living with extreme anxiety and bouts of situational depression were suppressed issues that erupted due to a perfect storm.

What To Do When You Need Help?
Addiction affects many. The mental health of an addict is only one source of emotional and psychological anguish that trickles down to others. But living a life with chronic depression and anxiety day after day is like not living at all. It is the antithesis of the word “life.”  So what can you do if you’re overwhelmed by anxiety or depression?
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1. Be proactive. It would be ideal to deal with the stress and anxiety before it gets out of hand but this is not usually the case because a co-addict can become consumed with an addict’s addiction. If you’re living with an addict, talk about your feelings with a trusted friend, advisor, or professional. Getting these feelings out in the open is step 1.
2. Know that help is always there. When depression and anxiety render your life unbearable, finding help at that point may be more difficult. It is hard to reach out and change your life when you are deep into a depression. However, know that psychologists, family counselors, and licensed clinical social workers are certified to offer help. So if you see signs of these feelings, it is advantageous to ask for help ASAP.
3. Commit to self-development over the long term. Learn coping skills early on would be great. But, sometimes personal changes comes on the order of decades rather than months. Commit to personal growth as a lifelong process. And you’ll get both the help and the peace that you long for as you grow.

www.addictionblog.org

In early addiction recovery, feelings of guilt and shame are common and expected. In fact, it can bet difficult to overcome those negative feelings…but a proactive approach can help you develop self-confidence. This article describes several things people in recovery can do to boost their low self-esteem. Then, we invite you to share your own experiences about building self-esteem in recovery or ask questions about the techniques at the end.

Increasing Your Self-Esteem In Addiction Recovery
Addicts are prone to self-loathing, and negative feelings about ourselves tend to spike in early recovery. As you come off the drugs or put down the bottle, you can look back at addiction with clearer eyes and really see the extent of the damage you caused to yourself, life, and loved ones. Feelings of guilt and shame in early recovery are to be expected, and it’s so important to learn how to manage the negative feelings and low self-esteem in recovery and get past them.

Overcoming those negative feelings is difficult, but it’s possible. Self-esteem is something that needs to be developed, and it’s best to take a proactive approach. As long as you want to feel better about yourself, in time, you will. Here are some suggestions that can help you.

4 Tips To Increasing Self-Esteem In Recovery
1. Forgive yourself.
In recovery, forgiving yourself for what you did during your addiction is often one of the hardest things to do. There is no one more critical of ourselves than ourselves. But you need to remember that the person you were under the influence is not the person you really are. You cannot change the past, so you need to forgive yourself for it and move onto the present with the promise that you’ll learn from your mistakes and won’t repeat them. Accept your past, and focus instead on being a better person today.

2. Be proud of yourself.
Once you’ve forgiven yourself, it’s time to try and turn some of those feelings of guilt into feelings of pride. As addicts, we tend to beat ourselves up even when we should be giving ourselves credit. Instead of feeling guilty about your past addiction, feel proud of yourself for doing the hard work it takes to make a change. Quitting drugs and alcohol is incredibly difficult for an addict, so you’ve already overcome quite the hurdle, and that is nothing to shrug about.

3. Surround Yourself with positive people
It’s essential to have a support system in recovery, because overcoming addiction isn’t something you have to or should do alone. If you surround yourself with positive people, by proxy you’ll start developing a more positive attitude about life and yourself. Your friends and the people you associate with should make you feel good about yourself. Anyone who puts you down or is a negative influence should not have a place in your life.
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4. Be kind to yourself
Finally, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a beloved friend or relative. You would most likely never be as hard on a loved one or hold them to standards as high as you hold yourself to. Don’t criticize yourself, and don’t get caught up worrying about what you “should” be doing. Love yourself, compliment yourself, and focus on all your good attributes and accomplishments no matter how “small” you think they are. You’re someone who has been through a lot and deserves compassion.

Self-Esteem In Addiction Recovery
Do you have more ideas on how to improve self-esteem? Please share your thoughts or comments in the section below.

No. There is no quick fix – not to addiction, diabetes, or any other disorder. For that matter, quick fixes rarely appear in any other context, including climate shift or family budgeting.

Here, we explore what it really takes to recover from addiction in the long term. Then, we invite your questions or comments about addiction recovery in the section at the end.

The Mythical Quick Fix For Addiction
In general, most types of quick fixes are more of a “duct tape” than a solution. In fact, one of the reasons relapse is that a short-term treatment view was taken in addiction recovery. But when it comes to addiction recovery, the longer and more active approach is the best solution. People don’t become addicted to drugs or alcohol overnight. Likewise, recovery cannot be expected overnight, either.

The problematic quick-recovery perspective, was recently highlighted in the New York Times by guest columnist Peg O’Connor, Ph.D. Dr. O’Connor takes issue with the rampant trending idea of, “the addicted brain”. She does not disbelieve this idea; it is just that she view addictions as much more complex, and the treatment for a person’s addiction equally so. Brain addiction is just one part of the larger picture.

Beyond Getting Clean
Detox and residential rehab provide the opportunity, structure, and environment to become drug free. It is a good start, but not the whole enchilada. Dr. O’Connor states, “One still needs to learn the skills or ways of living healthfully and happily”. That is a long term proposition and far from a quick fix. It is also something that is profoundly personal. Why and how?

During the drug, alcohol or even food addiction years, the substances themselves took on a major meaning and focus of life. They provided release, comfort, and even a kind of joy. They gave purpose to daily life, even if that purpose was only in finding the next fix. One of the hardest parts of addiction recovery is learning ways to fill that gap.

Many individuals experience addiction, or the root causes that led to an addiction, at the center of life for years and even decades. Take that away, and the idea of “a meaningful life” can be intimidating. Making healthy choices can be overwhelming and confusing. Those in recovery must also recognize that a meaningful life does not mean it is a perfect one. This adds the idea of how to be human along with that new, purpose driven life.

Finding Meaning In Life
The continuum of addiction treatment is a more stable solution than the “quick fix” idea of addiction recovery. Beginning with detox and residential care and carrying right on through outpatient addiction care, finding meaning in life is a core part of treatment. This includes experiential therapies and also some personal soul searching through journaling or contemplation. It means finding purpose in life. Just as the idea of a Higher Power is defined by the individual, so is the notion of meaning and purpose in life.

Another problematic notion of the “quick fix to addiction idea” is that there will be a sudden, powerful “AHA” moment during recovery that defines personal purpose and meaning. For most, it takes time and a willingness to keep moving forward that helps create a deeper meaning in life. Moreover, it may even take a bit of trying and experimentation in terms of jobs, volunteering, and health pursuits before finding a comfortable combination.

As a society, one of the best things we can change is the idea of a quick fix. Believing that change takes time, effort and shared support also helps reduce the isolation of recovery.

www.addictionblog.org