Five Steps To Overcoming The Fear That’s Holding You Back
We are ever-evolving, learning, growing creations. Yet, in spite of the fact that we are constantly changing, a normal reaction to change is fear. You would think that we’d be used to it by now and that it wouldn’t scare us anymore. After all, change is one of the only guarantees in life.

It is the unknown that causes this fear. Even if we know we’re moving in the right direction, unknown territory can hold us back and keep us stuck. For example, I was in a co-addictive relationship for nearly two decades. My husband was addicted to alcohol and drugs. As painful as that situation was, it became my comfort zone. I at least knew what to expect. As I began to make progress in my own recovery from co-addiction in relationships, the fear of change was my biggest barrier.  Addiction and fear seem to go hand-in-hand.

Dealing With Fear In RecoveryHow many of us get stuck in unhealthy patterns because we are afraid of moving forward? We make the decision to stay in a bad situation over taking a chance on happiness. Why? Is it because we don’t have a crystal ball? Because we might end up in a worse situation? Because it might require leaving another person behind?

While my recovery was a process, I did eventually gather the strength to walk away from my husband and his addiction. As much as I yearned for my marriage to work, I finally surrendered to the fact that he was not ready to accept help. I did what I had to do to save myself. It was only after I gained the courage to take those steps that my husband accepted treatment. Amazingly, he has now been clean for over five years, and we are enjoying a healthy marriage.

5 Steps To Overcoming Fear In Addiction Recovery
It was my ability to overcome the fear of change that saved my family. No matter what obstacle you are currently facing in life, I urge you to harness your inner strength and move forward.  Following are five tips for overcoming fear in addiction recovery.

1. Have faith.

Turning your problems over to a higher power can free you. Understanding that you are not supposed to have all of the answers can be a huge weight off your shoulders. You are here to live your life. You are not responsible for the choices that your loved one makes, and it is unhealthy for you to take those choice personally.

We do not always have control over the circumstances in our lives. Sometimes, we have to learn to give that control over to a higher power and have faith that there is a reason, a purpose, and a plan in place. The Serenity Prayer is a perfect reminder of this: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

2. Be grateful.

When you focus on all of the wonderful gifts that surround you, it becomes easy to stay in a positive frame of mind. You have a choice. You can choose to focus on the negative, which will no doubt leave you feeling lousy, or you can choose to focus on the positive. Realizing all of the joys in your life will keep you feeling joyous.

We all desire a life filled with peace, comfort, and security, but if we only experienced those things we’d be cheated of so much. How would you ever feel success if you didn’t have some struggles to overcome? How would you know true joy if you never felt sadness? Would you want to go your entire life without ever feeling exhausted from a hard days work? Never having the feeling of butterflies in your stomach? Never experiencing the release of anger? Never feeling the fear of vulnerability? You can learn to appreciate every part of your life, even the challenges.

3. Reach out for help.

When you’re lacking faith or strength reach out to a family member or friend. Turn to the people who care about you and let them help to lift your load. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open up, you might just be provided with the exact help you need.

One of the best forms of support available, for those of us involved with an addict, is Al-Anon. If you haven’t visited an Al-Anon meeting before, I encourage you to seek one out. Al-Anon offers the guidance and support needed to keep you on track. Through their program you will be encouraged to find a sponsorѕa member who has been working the program for some time and can help you with daily struggles one-on-one. It’s truly an incredible support system available to anyone; all it takes is tracking down a meeting and showing up.

4. Create a clear vision.

See your ideal situation clearly in your mind. The method of visualization has been proven to work. One of your most powerful tools is your imagination. By creating a clear image in your mind, you set forth the energy needed to bring your dreams to life.

One of the greatest benefits to using visualization is the awareness of control that it offers you. Being in a relationship with an addict can leave you feeling powerless. By learning to use the tools of visualization, you start to feel a sense of mastery over your own life, which in turn increases your self-esteem and hopefulness for the future.

5. Learn to say “yes”.

It’s time to let go of false fears. Learn to say yes to fun, adventure, new friendships, and taking risks. There are no perfect answers, perfect relationships, or perfect lives. We are meant to make mistakes, take wrong turns, and make bad decisions. They are all a part of life. When we learn to say “yes” we open ourselves up to love, learning, growing, and life.

As you make your way along your new path you may feel some discomfort. Your stomach may flip-flop a bit as you try a new approach. The sensation of fear might spread throughout your body whenever you put yourself into an unfamiliar situation. It’s important to stay in tune with your body’s reactions, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between your instincts giving you a warning and the simple response to change.

Learn to think of these reactions to change as “Growth Alerts”. The next time you’re feeling uneasy, ask yourself if there is a reason to be wary, or is it a signal that you are about to do some growing? Sometimes you have to push your way past the crowd of fear in order to reach the front row seats of joy!

Photo credit: Damien Moureaux

Addiction recovery takes time. And each person’s path is unique and different. But one thing most addicts have in common? Low self-esteem.

Addiction Blog has met up with John Myers and Corey Wesley, from Urban FLRT, to talk more about affirmations and how positive thinking can influence our lives. They are trying to change lives, one affirmation at a time by spreading good vibes through motivational apparel and accessories. We welcome your questions or comments about how to use affirmations in recovery, how to define what is addiction recovery or your personal tips for addiction recovery at the end.

ADDICTION BLOG: Hi, John and Corey. Tell us a little bit about how affirmations work in the brain. And why positive affirmations are so important in addiction recovery.

In my own experience, I used affirmations in my own early recovery after following suggestions given to me by my sponsor. In fact, I wrote ten (10) Post-It notes and stuck them up all over my house. I remember feeling a boost to my self-esteem. It was really the beginning of starting to like myself again. Why and how do affirmations work?

URBAN FLRT: Thanks for the opportunity to discuss this with you. We believe that affirmations can help define our focus and they help develop new thought and behavior patterns that will move us in the direction we wish to go in life. Unfortunately, our minds tend to wander and we are often overcome by negative thoughts that prevent us from pursing a better path. Through affirmations, we define what and who we are and we define our focus. Our thoughts and behaviors begin to follow.

ADDICTION BLOG: What are some of the most important affirmations for people in recovery? Can you list the Top 10 for us?

URBAN FLRT: It’s difficult to develop a Top 10 list because the same affirmations may not work for everyone. Affirmations must be personal to the individual so each individual will have their own Top 10 list. You must be connected to and have a desire to develop new patterns in your life in order to benefit from affirmations. A few of the affirmations we’ve been working with at Urban FLRT are:

• Freely Living Real & True
• I Care, I Believe, I Celebrate
• Live & Be Free, Real, True
• I am where I am
• I love myself

Corey found our signature affirmation, Freely Living Real & True, to be successful in his life. Freely represents the fact that you are making a decision of your own free will. You are Living for a better life and you are being an active participant in your life. By being Real & True, you are acknowledging where you are in your life and you are being truthful and open with yourself and others about the direction you are taking in your life.

ADDICTION BLOG: What are some funny or more popular affirmations that you’re exploring at Urban FLRT? How can humor help us in addiction recovery?

URBAN FLRT:Humor is important in life, not just in recovery. We believe it’s healthy to have light-hearted moments to break up the very intense issues that you have to deal with sometimes. The fact that we’re using the acronym FLRT helps create some light-heartedness.

ADDICTION BLOG: We view relapse as a part of recovery.  What kinds of affirmations can people who’ve been through relapse use?

URBAN FLRT: We believe that those who’ve been through relapse need to be supported and encouraged on the path to recovery. Freely Living Real & True could be especially helpful. Recovery is a process that takes time. Being real about a relapse is also being truthful that there may be setbacks along the way. We also found this quote to be quite motivational: “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”- Abraham Lincoln

ADDICTION BLOG: What is your hope for people (young and old) coming into addiction recovery? Do you have any words of wisdom for people coming into recovery for the first time?

URBAN FLRT: Don’t let stigma or the term recovery hinder you from striving for your goals. Understand that it is a life-long class that creates more opportunities to flex the strength to get up and keep striving for better.

ADDICTION BLOG: Do you have anything else to add?

URBAN FLRT: Affirmations are a tool that can be used in anyone’s life to help improve their patterns of thinking and behaving. Corey, our co-founder, who is a New York State trained Recovery Coach successfully used our Freely Living Real & True affirmation and we hope that others will connect to it and find it useful.

Photo credit: Urban FLRT

By Lucas Tolbert


It Began With Morphine…

In the early 1960s my grandfather, a smoker of two packs of unfiltered Camels a day, died of lung cancer. Unfortunately for him, WWII and the Korean War had seen a spike in the incidence of morphine addiction from soldiers bringing home the habits they’d picked up to deal with the horrors of war. This influx of addiction precipitated a national opiate addiction scare that was responsible, no doubt, for the medical professionals treating my grandfather to withhold morphine for much of his illness. This denial was certainly enforced during his last days and resulted in an exceptionally painful death.

Heroin As An Alternative To Pain 
In 1898 (through 1910) what is now the Bayer pharmaceutical released diacetylmorphine under the brand name ‘Heroin’ as a pain reliever and (perhaps more so) as a cough suppressant. Pure Heroin was sold for less than $5 (US) an ounce, and, it was advertised, less than that if bought in bulk. Heroin was widely advertised by Bayer as a less addictive alternative to morphine, safe for men, women and children.



Oxycodone Is Our Generation’s Response To Pain
Almost exactly 100 years later in 1996, Purdue Pharma release an extended-release formulation of oxycodone called “OxyContin” (OC). This release was accompanied by an aggressive marketing campaign and the application of “significant political pressure” to relax the prescription restrictions regarding OC. Purdue’s advertisements and literature to doctors touted OC as having “less euphoric effect and less abuse potential” than other opiate painkillers and, in fact, those taking low doses of the drug could quit without suffering any withdrawals. They went so far as to suggest that OC should be considered“a safer alternative to even Aspirin and Tylenol and good for anyone who needed pain relief for ‘several days’ or more.”

Purdue was eventually ordered to pay $634 million in fines for their marketing practices and misbranding. While that’s a whopping fee, it pales some in comparison to the profits OC generated for Purdue (more than $2.5 billion dollars in 2008 alone). In 2007, Purdue was producing 75.2 tons of OC; up from 11.5 tons in 1997. As is generally common knowledge now, OC addiction tore through rural North America. Overdoses skyrocketed and entire regions were swamped with OC. Some First Nations communities have adult OxyContin addiction rates of more than 70%.

And heroin? It’s now one of the world’s most abused drugs, and certainly one of its most dangerous, with an estimated 21 million addicts worldwide.

Balancing Pain Management With Addiction Awareness

That prescription drug abuse and addiction is a serious problem is a fact it’s doubtful anyone would deny, medical professional or layman. And there’s no shortage of publicity to that effect. However, less well known is the widespread (and understandable) cost of under-medicating patients with chronic pain which results from opiate-prescribing concerns. One poll of pain specialists suggested that some 77% of those suffering from acute and/or chronic pain (and without addiction issues) are without sufficient pain medication.

Finding a balance between keeping patients pain-free and keeping a sufficiently tight rein on opiate medication to ensure that they are not distributed irresponsibly has become an increasingly difficult prospect for medical professionals. While there are probably no perfect answers – some people will live with unnecessary pain and some will abuse painkillers.

Are Measures To Reduce Pain Pill Abuse Working?

There are some interesting experiments being done in pain management and some universal steps that can be taken to mitigate abuse. There’s an almost perfect microcosm of this issue being played out in Tillamook County, Oregon. Dr. Harry Rinehart runs a pain clinic in the town of Wheeler where he has become unofficially known as the ‘Pioneer of Pain’ due to the novelty of his philosophy: that patients with pain (and even addictions) should get enough medication to ensure their comfort.

That flies in the face of the current prescribing trend – to issue medication as conservatively as possible. Dr. Rinehart’s methods have even drawn the ire of law enforcement. Tillamook County’s Attorney General William Porter has filed a number of complaints against Dr. Rinehart to the Board of Medicine, concerned that the seemingly liberal prescription policy is possibly responsible for putting opiate pills on the street. To date, all of the complaints have been dismissed.

Rinehart further differs from his colleagues in that rather than meet with patients individually, those under his care are required to attend a group pain management meeting once every three months. Rinehart points out that those group meetings have had huge success in other contexts, creating bonds of camaraderie, shared experience, and support…So why not pain management?

An Individualized Plan Is Key 
To be sure no one unauthorized has access to the medications, he also insists that his patients bring him a photograph of their medication locked up in the lockbox he requires them to keep. Those patients are further required to bring their lockboxes with them when picking up any medication. Whether or not his system will prove an effective (or ethical) one in the long term remains to be seen. For the duration, however, prescription abuse can be curbed and pain more effectively treated when doctors, patients, pharmacists, families and caretakers work together to establish individual plans for each patient and keep an eye out for indications of abuse.