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Joylessness Is Not a Sin or Failure

9/25/2014

We all go through times of joylessness, times of abject failure, seasons of grief, feeling overwhelmed for prolonged periods of time. Some of us are burnt out for any number of reasons. And many of us flagellate ourselves; we beat ourselves up for feeling the way we do. We have this false belief that because we are Christians we ought not to be feeling the way we are or doing the things we sometimes do. We open our Bibles and read, “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly” and ask, "What am I doing wrong that I am not feeling this abundance?" We open it again and read, “I have given you authority” and wonder, "Why am I feeling trampled upon?"

The fact is we are imperfect. We are fallen in nature. We are broken. And so we struggle from time to time. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:29, “Who is weak, and I am not weak? … If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my infirmity."

We need to remember the heroes of our faith felt like we do, fell like we do, were depressed like we sometimes are. And from those pits of despair we have some of the most beautiful Hebrew poetry written in the psalms. David, who admits in Psalm 51 to all the issues I noted above, also knows our God, and he asks God, after great failure and in the midst of deep depression, for His choicest gifts:

I have a friend, he is my confidant; he is someone who knows all the worst of me, and when I call him when I’m in a dark place, feeling like a failure, or just utterly void of joy, he will always say first, “God loves you. You know that right? God loves you.” He is speaking from the Gospel of Grace.

Paul asks in Romans 8:35, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” The answer is no, nothing, nada, niente!

And it is the thought of God’s love in Christ that enables me, eventually, to rise up and walk. It is God’s love that enables me to recover my sight and see the world around me through hope and faith. It is God’s love that heals the leprosy of my soul. It is God’s love that takes away the stone and calls me from the cave! God loves me. He gave His Son to die for me, even if I were the only person on earth! And Romans chapter 8 says that if He loved us with such a great love, how shall He not also with Christ give us all things?

We need to stop beating ourselves up over false expectations that say, I am a Christian and I ought to always be joyful. It’s not true. What is true is that our joy will always be restored. We will be refreshed. Sometimes we just have to be where we are. I know that sounds silly, but it is true.

Elijah lay under a tree, depressed, afraid and full of suicidal ideation. An angel brought him food and told him, "Eat, sleep." The angel came a second time and said, "Eat, sleep."

When you cannot lift your soul then take care of your body. Eat. Rest. Sooner than later that “still, small voice” will speak words of love and joy. Always remember, God loves you. And like Elijah, God is not done with you yet!

Copyright 2014 David Gibson, used by permission.

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The Time For Doing Is Now

9/18/2014

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“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney, American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator and entrepreneur, founder of the Walt Disney Company (1901-1966)

Thinking about putting off what we have on our to-do list? If we are actually at the point where we’ve got this thought in mind, we’re already halfway down the road to making excuses for why now is just not the best time to get moving. Even though we know, instinctively, that we’re telling ourselves a fib, we often are tempted to just keep on making up reasons for our inability to get off the dime.

It’s time for a little truth here. The time for doing is now. It’s not yesterday or tomorrow or next year but right now, at this very moment.

In fact, there’s no time that could possibly be better.

Consider that taking too long to contemplate an action is only delaying the inevitable, or setting ourselves up for failure. Neither one of these is a very good potential outcome, correct?

Talk, they say, is cheap. Well, sometimes it comes off that way, as we let all manner of words jumble past our lips, never really giving them much thought. We may even talk ourselves into or out of something. We’re that glib with words.

Let’s stop all this talking and get busy doing.

Need a little more motivation? Is it feeling a bit too tough to give up all our hard-won procrastinating skills? What about those goals we so desperately want to achieve? Do we think they’ll somehow magically fall into our lap all completed and ready for us to claim?

Not hardly and not anytime soon, folks. Nope, the only way to get what we’re after is to put together a plan, work it, rework it, and keep going until we succeed. Even if we fall somewhat short, we gain when we learn from the experience.

To make it easier, look over the list of goals that we’ve got. Which ones appear to offer us the most reasonable chance to succeed? That’s where we should start. It doesn’t matter if the goal is small. In fact, that may be the best choice to get us going. Small doesn’t mean insignificant. A goal that we want to achieve is the prerequisite. Getting it done is what it takes to achieve.

Getting going is what starts the whole process.

Living the good life in recovery means to keep moving, to keep taking action toward our goals, never stopping, never giving up. In this, we’re like sharks that have to keep moving in order to live. When they stop, they die. Now, we won’t really expire if we don’t take action, but we won’t really be living, either.

Take this advice to the bank (of recovery) and share it often so it can grow. The time for doing is now. There are plenty of choices available to us to select, so pick one and get moving.

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What Exactly Is Recovery?

9/11/2014

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Families of someone working to put addiction behind them may have a personal spin on what it means to have their loved one “in recovery.” But despite its frequent use in conversation, not even addiction specialists have been in agreement as to a precise definition of the term.

Multiple Definitions Have Been Offered

In 2005 the government agency Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) published its understanding of the word when it said: “Recovery from alcohol and drug problems is a process of change through which an individual achieves abstinence and improved health, wellness and quality of life.”

SAMHSA augmented that definition with 12 key principles. A few of them were:

The person recognizes a need to change
The process includes progressive healing and a re-definition of self
The process takes place on a continuum, but moves toward wellness and health

Then, in 2011, SAMHSA offered a new working definition aimed at encompassing recovery from substance addiction or mental illness. The new definition reads as follows: “Recovery is a process of change whereby individuals work to improve their own health and wellness and to live a meaningful life in a community of their choice while striving to achieve their full potential.”

SAMHSA went on to identify four key areas that contribute to recovery:

1. Health

The person in recovery needs to work toward overcoming their disease though it may be a gradual process. They also need to adopt a lifestyle that promotes physical and emotional health.

2. Home

The person in recovery needs to have a stable living environment that supports the practices of recovery.

3. Purpose

The person in recovery needs to have purpose. Having purpose yields identity and dignity. Purpose can be derived from volunteering, school, work, family responsibilities or creative pursuits. Daily purpose gives life meaning and direction.

4. Community

Community is another word for social connection. Every person has a need for love and friendship. People in recovery need a group of others around them who will offer these things along with encouragement and hope.

SAMHSA also outlines a series of principles that can be used to describe recovery.

Holistic – involves the entire person
Peer-supported
Multiple pathways
Relationship-supported
Influenced by and based in culture
Addresses trauma
Includes responsibilities of the individual, family and community
Respectful
Based on hope

Mental health experts in the U.K. describe recovery as the ability to maintain control over one’s life while living with the reality of mental illness. This view focuses on personal resilience and the support of others. Hope is a core value in the recovery model. People are motivated to make changes because they believe it is possible to live meaningfully even with a chronic or serious mental health condition. The recovery model emphasizes the ability exert control of some parts of life even if other parts of life are beyond their control. The outlook (as opposed to a precise definition) accepts the presence of mental health symptoms but refuses to be limited or defined by them.

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Playing "Red Light, Green Light" on the Road to Recovery

9/4/2014

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Remember playing that game as a child in which you were running around with your friends and then the leader called out “RED LIGHT!”? You had to freeze right where you were and couldn’t move until he or she gave you permission by shouting “GREEN LIGHT!” When you were young, it was entertaining and as you read these words, you may hear echoes of squeals of delight reeling through the years. As an adult, it becomes an important life skill.

Often, we are traveling along the road of life, arm out the window, enjoying the scenery, lost in thought and we come upon a traffic light that is there to give us instructions. Even before we could drive, we knew that green meant go, red meant stop and yellow meant caution/slow down. If we are conscious and aware, our minds register what we are to do next.

For many addicts, the metaphorical message either doesn’t register or is ignored, and the safest choice isn’t apparent. The action may be to put the pedal to the metal and charge through the light – the obvious adrenalin-rush choice – and then find ourselves being slammed broadside by an oncoming 18-wheeler.

The Lights in Our Lives

The red lights in our lives are warning signals that tell us to stop right where we are and do absolutely nothing until we know it is safe to take the next step. The messages may come from friends and family, a therapist, our own intuition, or even our bodies (in the form of illness, for example). When we don’t pay attention to the whispers, sometimes roars become necessary. How many times have you seen the crimson beacon that communicates “Put down the bottle/pill/joint/needle,” and ignored it? Many addicts know cognitively what is in their best interest, but take reflexive rather than reflective action.

The green lights are full latitude to move ahead, certain that the way is clear. Opportunities arise to do things we have always wanted to experience; people show up, seemingly by engraved invitation and by special delivery. Sometimes, even when we see the door open before us, we remain stuck in freeze mode because we fear taking the next step, wondering if the door will close as we are halfway through or because we don’t believe we are worthy of those gifts.

The yellow lights are there to remind us to take stock and do a cost-benefit analysis before we move on. It is more action-oriented than if encountering a red light and less so than charging ahead with confidence. It is also a resting place in which we can ease back a bit.

Questions to Consider

Take a few moments with a journal or paper and pen and ask yourself these questions:

How would you describe your real-life green lights?
How would you characterize your real-life red lights?
Write about some scenarios in which you listened to messages and when you didn’t.
Was the outcome as you anticipated?
What would you need to do to create more green-light scenarios?
Can you see how this might apply to your recovery?

By being aware of the metaphorical traffic signals in our lives, we can traverse the roads safely and arrive alive.

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Joylessness Is Not a Sin or Failure

The Time For Doing Is Now

What Exactly Is Recovery?

Playing "Red Light, Green Light" on the Road to Recovery

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