By: Lisa Hann

By Dr. Howard Samuels, Author of Alive Again: Recovering from Alcoholism and Drug Addiction

If you suspect that your spouse, friend, or child needs help for addiction…what can you do? Here, we help you eliminate your doubts hand encourage you to seek help in performing steps for intervention. In fact, physical and emotional sobriety in addiction recovery is possible!  How do you get there? We explore more and invite your questions about the benefits of interventions at the end.

The Value Of InterventionThe bible tells us that money is the root of all evil and, while that may not be true for everyone, it was certainly true for me. Now, let me tell you why.

My intervention was an horrific experience for me. I’d been drinking and drugging for years; suffered overdoses and astonishing weight loss — my family no longer even recognized me, I was so gaunt and pasty-faced — and, amidst it all, I could not stop destroying myself.

Ha. Destroying myself. Even now, with almost three decades of sobriety under my belt, the root of my denial still exists. I have three children, and they all watch cartoons where the villain always announces, “I will destroy you!” because the network Standards and Practices departments have deemed it detrimental for the villain to announce, “I’m going to kill you!”

And that’s what was happening to me. I was killing myself and couldn’t see it — wouldn’t see it — because I needed to get high.

But the people who loved me the most could see it. My father could see it. And he was at wit’s end. I mean, he’d tried everything — he’d had long talks with me, he’d sent me to rehab, he’d pleaded with me . . . and none of it worked. So, he and my mother eventually sought professional help because they’d realized (again to their horror) that something had taken ahold of their son and they needed real help if they were ever going to combat it. And this brings us back to my intervention.

My family had gathered (and mine is a huge family) and sat me down so that everybody present could — one at a time — tell me what they were seeing in me. It was agonizing, mostly because, deep down inside, I was still their son; I was still their brother . . . and I’d no intention of hurting anyone. None at all. I merely wanted to be left alone to wallow in my misery and continue my behavior.

The Knife Of Ultimatum: Withdraw Financial SupportBut, it was my father who dealt the final blow, thrusting the Knife of Ultimatum into my heart and twisting the dagger so that the real meaning took: This was the last straw, that turn said, and it is too painful for us to watch you do this to yourself. Get help or we will have to withdraw all familial support; and that’s not just our love and protection, it’s the money, too.”

And the money was the key. I was already beaten; the intervention had been emotional, to say the least, but being penniless — being homeless — in New York City was unconscionable. I sat there in the parlor of my father’s house, mentally flipping through the rolodex of manipulations in my own head, desperately scanning his eyes for any sign or hint of the man I’d used for years and I discovered in an instant that he no longer existed.

That man had been replaced . . . with resolve.

I knew he was telling the truth. Get well or get out, his eyes said; and I knew there was no way around it. And that was when I broke down. I broke down looked my father in the eye and asked him not to give up on me. And then, before I knew it, I was in rehab.

The Intervention Process Is Arduous
Now, it’s important to know that I probably never would have gotten sober had it not been for my family’s ability to draw a boundary — in my case it was a financial one — and stick to it; their strength made all the difference in the world. No one was going to “slip” me a fifty here or a hundred there. No one was going to enable me. Not anymore. They wanted to help me, but only if I was willing to live in recovery; only if I was willing to get help.

The process is long and arduous. In my professional career as an addiction specialist, I can tell you, I have come across innumerable families who lay down the bottom line to save the lives of their loved ones and then, ultimately, renege on that bottom line because they cannot break the enabling behavior model or maybe they succumb to manipulations from the addict/ alcoholic, or maybe they simply feel that drawing boundaries betrays the way they think their love should look.

And I’ve watched addict/ alcoholics suffer and die when that happened.

Setting Boundaries Is The KeyBoundaries are hard, especially for the families. It’s hard when your loved one is pleading with you to express your love for them in the way you always have and then have them accuse you of being a bad parent or an awful sibling or terrible spouse or friend when you stand your ground. But, I’m here to tell you it can be done.

I’m here to tell you it has to be done.

Does it always work out the way it did for me? It saddens me to say that it does not. Some addict/ alcoholics relapse. But, this doesn’t mean we go back to doing things the old fashioned way. We’ve lost a battle, but we haven’t lost the war. Stand by your convictions. Hold your ground. Relapse is not a failure. For some, it is merely part of the process, and there is nothing wrong with supporting an addict as long as they are in recovery. If an addict/ alcoholic relapses and then, miraculously, gets back on track, we embrace them because it means they haven’t given up.

We don’t bury our wounded; and we don’t throw anyone away.

I had my family’s love and support (and, yes, even their money) while I struggled with getting well. But, they made it very clear that if I wasn’t living in recovery — if I was “playing them” just so that I could continue to kill myself — they were going to pull the rug out from under me and walk away.

And they meant it.

And I knew that they meant it.

If you are reading this and someone you care about is suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction, my heart truly goes out to you. No one wants to be the bad guy and no one wants to point at the elephant in the room; it’s not how any of us were raised. Believe me when I say that it’s a war we are in, and that casualties can be prevented, and that most of what you need to do to win this war is intervene on the destructive behavior, draw a boundary, and stick to it. This is not an imaginary solution, it’s a solution that works.

But, I’ve got to warn you going in: if you’ve really got what it takes, it’s going to take everything you’ve got.

Photo Credit: geraIT

The Role Of Honesty In Addiction Treatment

By Michael Sigal, Founder – Book Your Care

Addiction recovery tip #1: Ask for help. Acknowledging that help is needed is an important part of addiction recovery and addiction treatment. But how that help is accessed may play the biggest role in success or failure. Addiction recovery tip #2: Be honest. Being honest with staff from the start will not only allow for a more personalized treatment program to be created but will set the standard for interaction moving forward.

Here, we review strategies for preventing self-abotage during addiction treatment (for either inpatient or outpatient rehab). And then we invite your questions or comments about beinh honest in addiction recovery at the end.

Lying Is An Adapted Behavior For AddictsWhen most people in the non-addicted general public think about drug addiction, they might ask themselves why or how someone becomes addicted or the physical toll it takes on the body. They may also distrust an addict who they might view as having “weak character.”

For the addict the thinking is a bit different. Their lives tend to revolve around how to get drugs, when they can use drugs and maybe how to function in everyday life. However, for both the addict and non-addict there is one constant about drug use. It’s illegal. And because of this, it’s safe to say that getting away with it and hiding their actions from others is crucial to the addict’s survival.

Case in point is a 22-year-old woman in New York who recently pleaded guilty to 24 counts of larceny, forgery, scheming to defraud and other charges. Her scam was pretending to have cancer so she could raise money for treatment. Unfortunately, her cancer treatment consisted of buying drugs to support her heroin habit.

For those with no experience with drug addiction this story is beyond shocking. How could someone stoop to that level? But for those who have been addicted, or know someone struggling with addiction, it’s a bit easier to understand.

Honesty Is A Part Of The Addiction Recovery Process
While feigning cancer to con people for drug money is an extreme example, it does speak to the dishonesty that exists around addiction. Lying to parents, friends, spouses and co-workers is the nature of the beast. But just as importantly, it’s the lying an addict does to him or herself that embeds itself deeply and can be just as tough a pattern to break as the addiction itself.

Seeking help for addiction is a major step for anyone. That act alone speaks to someone coming “clean,” acknowledging a problem exists and attempting to overcome it. But, as we know, just wanting to change isn’t enough. And for most exploring treatment they will be put to the test from the first moment they contact a treatment center or rehab with their test coming in the form of questions such as such as, “What do you use?”, “How much do you use?” and “When did you last use?’

Self-Sabotage Can Trip Up Treatment For AddictionYou’d be surprised at how many “fail” this first test by not being truthful.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways people purposefully put barriers in their own way and why being upfront and honest is such an important first step on the road to recovery.

1. Things Really Aren’t That Bad

I’m just doing this for my wife/husband/family/job, etc.”

What the staff hears is, “I haven’t fully acknowledged my addiction” or “I’m not like everyone else here.”

People don’t go to a surgeon for a mild case of poison oak. Likewise, people don’t typically end up at a rehab unless it’s necessary. For those new to treatment they may feel the need to put up a wall of defense immediately. Perhaps they’re embarrassed by their actions and seek to minimize the role they’ve played in causing damage to themselves and others. Or maybe they just don’t want to divulge the “dirty secrets” they’ve kept inside for so long.

2. I Know, I Know

Relapses do occur with some going through multiple treatment programs before achieving success. Those with prior experiences in rehab may have a better idea of what to expect and will understand the importance of being honest about their use. But others may see rehab as a system they can “game.” These are the people who may feel they’re above treatment and smarter than the staff and will say anything they think someone wants to hear. Their goal is to win whatever battle they can which provides a feeling of superiority. Unfortunately, they may win a small, insignificant battle but they usually end up losing the war.

We see this behavior in prisoners who find themselves in and out of jail. Because they know the routine, they’ll take great pride in getting over on staff for the smallest thing which makes them feel like winners. Of course, the staff member goes home at the end of the day while the prisoner goes back to his cell.

3. Look At Me

We know that sometimes people do outrageous things for attention and that includes self-sabotage. They may create their own treadmill of being in and out of treatment because they know that when they’re in rehab they will be heard. While openness is encouraged in rehab the staff is more concerned with focused openness.

The Importance Of HonestyThe first step towards recovery is an acknowledgement of the problem. The second step is full disclosure. Anything short of that will allow denial or secrecy to rule behavior and minimize the chance for recovery.

More than likely, those seeking treatment are well-practiced at keeping things to themselves and when asked to share the specifics of their habit may automatically withhold information. This is detrimental during the assessment or intake process for two reasons. The first is that without a clear and concise understanding of a patient’s current situation the staff is put at a huge disadvantage in formulating an initial recovery strategy. The second is that it feeds in to the “me against them” mentality. That’s not what rehab is about. Rehab is about “we.”

Of course, there are situations when someone is detoxing or under the influence which will make honest communication very difficult. In those cases, the staff is trained to respond accordingly.

There is another factor at play when it comes to being honest from the beginning of rehab and that’s money. There is typically a finite time that someone will enter in to treatment and every day that a patient withholds information is another day not spent on trying to effectively treat the addiction.

Some may not want to divulge everything about their addiction for a very simple reason. They’re embarrassed. The best way to overcome this is with the understanding that the person the patient is speaking to is not only trained and non-judgmental but has probably “heard it all” and won’t be shocked.

Being Honest Isn’t Easy, But It’s Worth ItWhen we go to the Doctor and are asked about symptoms and possible causes for something ailing us we generally don’t blink and respond honestly. We know that by sharing everything we can our doctor will be better equipped to help us get well. That same type of honesty needs to be exercised upon entering rehab. It needs to take place at intake, during therapy and, just as importantly, upon exiting the facility and moving forward.

Being honest, whether with ourselves or relative strangers we’re entrusting with our care, isn’t easy. But the benefits far outweigh whatever reticence we may have.

About Michael Sigal
Michael Sigal is the founder and CEO of BookYourCare.com, the first and only service that provides unbiased reviews of residential treatment facilities. Longtime treatment industry professionals physically visit facilities to analyze and prepare thorough assessments in an effort to better inform those in need. Facilities cannot pay to be included in the BookYourCare directory. Additionally, BookYourCare provides the opportunity for prospective patients to bid on treatment stays to help keep high costs down.

Photo credit: thinkpublic

By: Suzi Martel

If you’ve ever wondered how alcohol makes you drunk and whether or not alcohol can really impair your driving, you’re in the right place.  Here, we review the impact of drunk driving, as well as consider alternatives to mandatory jail time, including questions on DUI assessments, drug courts, or addiction treatment. Then, we invite your questions about drunk driving or its consequences at the end.

Every 2 Minutes…
Sit out front of a coffee shop. Turn and look to the left. Now, turn and look to the right. Zoom in on at least three people and study them. They may be walking by, cycling by, maybe sitting at another table; old, young, male, female, doesn’t matter. Study them for a minute or two. What are they wearing? Are they laughing, walking their dog, running, having a cup of coffee while chatting on their phone with a friend?

Time’s up.That went by fast didn’t it? In those two minutes; someone, somewhere was injured in an automobile accident that involved a drunk driver. One of the three people you chose to watch will be involved in an accident involving a drunk driver in their lifetime, and probably not as the driver.

The High Cost Of Drunk Driving
Maybe they will be injured for life, ending up in a wheelchair, or on life support. Maybe they will die. Maybe it will be today. Which one; the girl in the pretty red sweater? Maybe it will be the man in the business suit grabbing coffee on his way to the office, or the mom pushing her twins in a stroller? Think about them every time you’ve had too much to drink and get behind the wheel of your car.

Morbidity And Consequences Of Drunk Driving
Every 30 minutes someone is killed by a drunk driver. A consequence no one wants to live with. Other (unforeseen) consequences of drunk driving can include:

• car used in the crime can be impounded (fees apply)
• community service
• hefty lawyer’s fees
• increase in auto insurance rates
• killing an innocent friend, family member, another human being, or yourself
• maiming or killing others or yourself
• mandatory jail time, can be lengthy with mitigating circumstances
• may not be able to rent a car when needed
• possible job loss and trouble getting a new job
• suspended driver’s license

Treatment Instead Of Jail Time?
While some states in the U.S. allow the option of alcohol abuse treatment instead of jail time; the consequences associated with drunk driving are many and differ from state to state. The DUI consequences website provides information on the legal consequences of drunk driving by state and which states allow treatment instead of jail time.

Get Out Of Jail Free Card
According to the Wolford Law Firm, judges in some states have the option of imposing alcohol abuse treatment, known as sober living, DUI treatment, or rehab, as opposed to a jail sentence for a DUI (driving under the influence) or DWI (driving while intoxicated). Studies have proven alcohol abuse treatment to be more effective than jail time in helping alcoholics recover and live a life of sobriety. However, how long a DUI stays on a record, as well as sentencing laws, vary by state.

As an example; California includes sober living as an alternative to a jail sentence for DUI’s and DWI’s in its penal code. Time spent in a rehabilitation treatment center with DUI rehab and sober living programs substitutes for incarceration providing the long term assistance that may be needed.

If you’ve been arrested for a DUI or DWI, seek help from a rehab facility that specializes in DUI treatment. They may be able to help you stay out of jail and get the help needed to reach and maintain a life free from alcohol addiction.

Photo Credit: secret sheik
Website Link:http://alcohol.addictionblog.org/consequences-of-driving-drunk/