In her helpful and significant workbook “Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors“, author and expertLisa Ferentz, LCSW-C teaches you to overcome self-destructive behavior. Read more about how and why this book can help you overcome self-harming urges here. Then, ask your questions about self harm urges at the end.

Do You Know Why You’re Harming Yourself?

“Self-destructive behavior is often a non verbal way to communicate to other people deeper information about your thoughts, feelings, needs, and experiences. Hurting your body may be a form of self-punishment. Unresolved guilt, shame and unwarranted self-blame about past trauma and neglect can leave you vulnerable to the idea that you “deserve” to be hurt. When you are lacking of self-compassion, self-harm is always possible.” – Lisa Ferentz

Stop Self Harming Urges Now!

It is completely normal and healthy to want to avoid pain and find a way to express your life experiences. You’re not making harmful choices because there is something wrong with you. You make harmful choices because no one ever showed you how to make good choices or made you feel worthy of good choices. However, true healing can begin when you learn to separate who you are from what happened to you.

So, how can you stop self harming urges? Be open to the idea that how and where you hurt yourself is not accidental, coincidental, or meaningless. You are using your body as a “canvas”, showing the pain you cannot talk about. Eating disorders, addictions, and self-mutilation become a way for sexual, emotional, and physical abuse to be communicated.

Why Check Out The Workbook?

1.  You’ll get a better understanding of self-harm.

In this book, Lisa provides thorough analysis of the self-destructive behaviors, what they mean, how are they performed, and what causes them. Even through a book, Lisa connects with us as readers on real personal level. Covering the psychological aspects of these disorders, the reader can truly understand his/her condition which is the first step to overcome self-destruction.

2.  You’ll be offered a strengths based solution.

The author offers a step-by-step method to help you release repressed emotions. While best used with the help of a qualified mental health professional (a licensed clinical psychologist), her caution in taking deeper steps gives the reader reliability – you feel you’re in safe hands. The exercises included in the book cover the therapy process in whole, while simultaneously helping you identify internal and external triggers and help in their avoidance and confrontation.

3.  You’ll be given new hope.

Lisa continuously states that one of the most valuable things for us to hold on to is the idea that everything about us makes sense given what we’ve experienced and where we’ve come from. When we can connect to our emotions and behaviors to past trauma or overwhelming past or present stress, the pieces begin to fit together, and the “symptoms” will start to make more sense to us.

Why Do We Recommend This Book?

Using journaling exercises, drawing and collaging prompts, guided imagery, visualizations, and other behavioral techniques, this book will make you understand, compassionately work with, and heal from these behaviors rather than distracting from or fighting against them, which can dramatically reduce internal conflict and instil genuine hope.

A Note For Mental Health Professionals

There are four major principles that go along with the strengths-based approach to treating self-destructive behaviors: normalizing, universalizing, depathologizing, and re-framing. Here are some key considerations when working with adolescents and young people who are in the cycle of self-destructuve patterns.

• Most people do not come into the therapy process or approach this work with an awareness of how early childhood attachment and relationship dynamics profoundly impact current behaviors and a core sense of self. These should be unfold in time with help of a trained professional.
• Promote the role of attachment and its impact on people’s ability to handle their emotional states.

Stop Self Harm Urges

Wondering where you can find “Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors”? from  Lisa Ferentz? To buy, download and read the book, check her site lisaferentz.com.  Additionally, if you are left with any questions about this book, we ask you to post them in the section below. We also welcome your feedback if you’ve read the book, and would like to comment and share your opinion.

Inpatient alcohol rehab requires at least a 28 day stay, but can be extended as needed. However, inpatient alcohol rehab is usually well worth the time. What can you expect about how long inpatient alcohol rehab lasts? Read on for the facts.

Considering inpatient alcohol rehab?
That’s good news.

Generally, inpatient alcohol rehab is recommended for people who have tried to stop drinking on their own but have failed…or those whose home environment makes it really hard to quit. Why?

First of all, individuals in inpatient alcohol rehab programs don’t have any access to alcohol and are therefore much less likely to relapse during treatment. Additionally, an intense inpatient alcohol rehab program helps recovering alcoholics focus on the issues which underlie addiction without temptation or distraction. Finally, an inpatient rehab offers a very structured environment, crucial to re-establishing health life routines. But how long does rehab typically last for an average stay? And what can you expect?

Inpatient alcohol rehab: How long does it last?
There are a couple of main types of inpatient alcohol rehab. Depending on the severity of an alcohol problem, a person may benefit from either traditional inpatient alcohol rehab or long-term alcohol rehab. So how long inpatient alcohol rehab lasts depends upon individual diagnosis and situation.

1.  Traditional inpatient alcohol rehab

A traditional alcohol rehab program requires at least a 28-30 day stay in an alcohol rehab facility. This type of treatment is usually recommended for individuals with moderate drinking problems. Treatment typically includes individual counseling and group therapy, and sometimes family counseling. Others may be encouraged to stay for a total of 60-90 days. Three (3) months is about the maximum amount of time for this traditional model of alcoholism treatment.

2.  Long-term inpatient alcohol rehab

Individuals with severe drinking problems may be better suited to long-term inpatient alcohol rehab programs. These programs can last anywhere from three months to a year, and typically include individual and family counseling as well as group therapy. Group living situations are arranged, as are vocational training and attendance in alcoholism support groups. Intensity of treatment changes over time with this model. The most intensive treatments usually occur in the first three (3) and taper down in the weeks and months that pass.

Inpatient alcohol rehab duration and time
So what generally happens during a stint in an inpatient alcohol rehab center? There are general rehab rules and life is very structured. During inpatient alcohol rehab, recovering alcoholics will live together and go through therapy together. Daily group therapy sessions are often required, as are individual counseling sessions. Lunch is prepared for you and free time is minimal. Days are usually filled with education sessions, 12 step meetings, and psychotherapy.

Inpatient alcohol rehab: A timeline of what happensInpatient alcohol rehab can often be broken down into easily identifiable stages. Here is an inpatient alcohol rehab timeline to give you an idea of what you can expect.

Day 1: Evaluation

The first day of inpatient alcohol rehab includes screening and clinical assessment. This process generally takes a few hours, at most, and will include an interview process and a urinalysis drug screen. Based on the results of the initial evaluation, alcohol rehab staff prepare a treatment plan for the rest of your stay. The first evaluation offers staff a baseline of where you are at the beginning of the rehab process. Throughout your stay, treatments are reviewed, new assessments are made and your treatment plan will be adjusted accordingly.

Week 1: Detoxification

While some people may never need alcohol detox (those who are not physically dependent on alcohol), the detoxification stage can provoke serious side effects for long-term or heavy drinkers. This is the period of time in which the body tries to adjust to functioning without alcohol. It is also the period of time that withdrawal symptoms are the worst and can provoke seizures, hallucinations, or delerium tremens. Some inpatient alcohol rehab programs offer on-site detoxification services, which can last from a fews days to a week, or longer in severe cases.

Weeks 1 to 4: Psychological treatments

A wide range of psychological treatments are used during the course of any inpatient alcohol rehab program. The daily therapy and counseling sessions are used to address underlying psychological problems and teach recovering alcoholics how to cope without drinking. It’s also helpful to work out interpersonal patterns during group therapy sessions. Psychological treatments for alcoholism last for the course of an inpatient rehab program and for several months or years after completing the program.

Weeks 1 to…: Medical treatments

Medications can be prescribed during inpatient alcohol rehab to help ease acute withdrawal or to treat alcohol cravings. Underlying mental health issues may also be treated using antidepressants or anti anxiety medications. Staff psychiatrists or medical doctors evaluate, diagnose, and prescribe medications during inpatient alcohol rehab as necessary. However, medicines are not “magic pills”. They can help aid recovery, but should be accompanied by psychological or behavioral therapies in order to be most successful.

Months 2 to 6: Transition

Leaving an inpatient alcohol rehab program is often an intense and difficult experience for a recovering addict. To minimize the shock of going from a monitored and alcohol-free facility to a society full of temptations, many inpatient alcohol rehab programs offer step down programs. These are used to help make the transition back into society easier and smoother. During this stage, a recovering alcoholic may reside in a halfway/sober living house but will be free to come and go whenever he pleases. This stage of treatment will usually last until a recovering alcoholic feels ready to face the world alone.

Months 2 to …?: Maintenance

After inpatient alcohol rehab, recovering alcoholics will usually start outpatient treatment. This usually includes periodic visits with license clinical psychologists and group therapy sessions. Many recovering alcoholics find themselves in this maintenance stage for several years, or even for the rest of their lives.

Can inpatient alcohol rehab be forced?
It’s quite difficult to force someone into inpatient alcohol rehab. The best action you can take is to stage an intervention if you believe your loved one needs treatment. The best interventions are planned with an expert, certified interventionist or a psychotherapist using the CRAFT model. The goal of an intervention is treatment.

To do this, gather a few close friends and family members to sit down and talk with the alcoholic. Professional guidance is crucial. During an intervention, you will explain that the drinking is causing problems, and make it clear that you would be supportive if they decided to seek treatment.

If an alcoholic refuses to admit he has a problem or refuses treatment, some states allow you to petition that s/he is involuntarily committed to a rehab program. To do this, a petition will need to be filed with your local court. If the court finds that the person is a danger to himself or others, a judge might order him to complete an inpatient alcohol rehab program.

Inpatient alcohol rehab time
It’s no secret that inpatient alcohol rehab is time consuming. However, it’s usually very effective and more than worth the time spent. If you’re considering inpatient alcohol rehab and still have questions, feel free to leave them in the comments section below. We look forward to helping our readers get the help they need.

Yes, alcohol rehabilitation works.

How do you know that it’s been successful? The goal of alcohol rehabilitation is to help individuals overcome their drinking problems and go through the rest of their lives functioning well without alcohol. So, alcohol rehabilitation is considered to be successful if a person is able to leave the program and stay sober. But what can you expect? And how can you increases chances for success? More here, with a section at the end for your questions.

Alcohol rehabilitation process and procedures

While not every alcohol rehabilitation program is exactly the same, the majority of them treat alcoholism in roughly the same manner. For instance, most alcohol rehab programs tackle this addiction in a few distinct steps, which are listed below.

1. Assessment of the drinking problem

Assessment of an alcohol problem usually consists of a scripted interview and a drug test. An initial assessment of an alcoholic by an addiction specialist serves a few important purposes. First of all, it helps a specialist understand more about the drinker’s habits and drinking. It might also help uncover underlying mental or emotional issues that may be contributing to their alcohol use. Additionally, assessment can be used as a baseline measure for treatment success. And ultimately, this evaluation will be used to create an individual treatment and recovery plan.

2. Medical detox or withdrawal from alcohol

The detox stage of alcohol rehabilitation is often one of the most difficult for many serious alcoholics. During detox, the body is trying to adjust to functioning without alcohol as well as get rid of any remaining alcohol in the system. This typically results in severely uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms, including:

• anxiety
• depression
• headaches
• irritability
• nausea
• shakiness vomiting

All cases of alcohol withdrawal need to be medically supervised. This is because severe symptoms (which include seizures) can manifest unexpectedly, especially in cases of chronic drinking, or high volume alcohol intake. A recovering alcoholic might go through detox in a dedicated detox facility or in a clinic which is attached to an alcohol rehabilitation center. Medical supervision is notably advised in cases of severe drinking or in those who have already experienced symptoms of delirium tremens and/or seizures during alcohol detox.

3. Alcoholism treatment

The treatment that a recovering alcoholic will receive while in alcohol rehabilitation will usually vary, depending on his or her individual situation. Frequent therapy and counseling sessions, however, are common treatment methods in any alcohol rehabilitation program. Some recovering alcoholics may also respond well to medications such as acamprosate, disulfiram, or naltrexone. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may also be prescribed. However, a combination of pharmaceutical and behavioral interventions is most frequently advised and results in best cases of successful treatment.

4. The aftercare program

Alcoholism is a very powerful addiction and difficult to overcome. In order to maintain a sober lifestyle, many recovering alcoholics find that they need some sort of aftercare for several months or years after they complete an initial alcohol rehabilitation program. In fact, many consider themselves to still be “in recovery” for the rest of their lives. Aftercare can include counseling, support group attendance, outpatient rehab attendance, mentoring, coaching, alternative modalities, or living in a halfway or 3/4 way house. A good alcohol rehabilitation program will also be able to refer you to life skills training programs and/or social services when needed. Finally, be sure to have an aftercare relapse prevention plan IN HAND when you leave a rehab program. This is a MUST HAVE for anyone wanting to maintain a sober lifestyle.

Is alcohol rehabilitation successful?

In order for alcohol rehabilitation to be successful, individuals must stay in treatment and dedicate themselves to recovery. They must have motivation to stop drinking and be willing to admit to admit their problem and make an effort to change. A strong support system of non-drinking family and friends will also help individuals to stay in alcohol rehabilitation.

A person is more likely to successfully complete an alcohol rehabilitation program if he or she is following an addiction treatment plan that is based on their individual wants and needs. These care plans are usually created by addiction specialists based on an assessment as well as the input of the alcoholic.

Is alcohol rehabilitation effective?

Overall, alcohol rehabilitation is very effective. According to one study, alcohol related problems caused individuals in the United States over $100 billion dollars in one year. This included costs such as health, legal, and career problems. The cost for alcohol rehabilitation, on the other hand, was only a fraction of this. Even harm reduction strategies, an alternative to abstinence, can effectively reduce the costs associated with an alcohol problem.

There are a number of steps that recovering alcoholic can take to make alcohol rehabilitation more effective for them personally. For instance, opting to start treatment in an intensive residential alcohol rehabilitation center often helps make alcohol rehabilitation much more effective. After the intense treatment is complete, they can then be placed in a less intense treatment program on an outpatient basis. However, for alcohol rehabilitation to be completely effective, a person must be ready and willing to change.

Questions about alcohol rehabilitation?

Please leave us your questions about rehabilitation in the comments section just below. We’ll do our best to respond to you personally and promptly.

Can You Help An Addict?
Usually, you can only help someone who wants help. When it comes to addiction, though, there are stpes you can take to keep your parents accountable for their actions. Learn how you can intervene here. Then, we invite your questions about dealing with a parent who’s an addict or alcoholic in the comments section at the end. We’ll get back to you with a personal reply ASAP.

How To Help An Addict Mother Or Father?

We’ve asked someone who’s been there and has returned to tell the tale. Bria is the author of the books:

“A Stolen Childhood” – A fictional story that is briefly based on her life events
“Where Hope is Born” – A series of vignettes about growing up in a family stricken by addiction, and
“Still My Best Friend?” – A children’s story that explains the disease of addiction to young children

Using her talent of writing, she has dealt with the disease and crisis of addiction in her family. Today, Bria shares her experience about ways to help your addict mother or father and how to care for yourself in the moments of overtaking parenting. Again, please use the section below if you have a question at the end. We will do our best to give you a personal and prompt answer.

ADDICTION BLOG: What are some of the main signs that your parents are addicts? How can you be sure?

BRIA RILEY: The main sign that parents (or anyone, for that matter) are addicts is that their lifestyle, priorities, and interests begin to change because of the use of their substance or compulsive behavior of choice.

For example, if your parents were diligent workers, the main cheerleader at every one of your soccer games, and always went fishing and hiking during their days off, but once they started excessively drinking, they:

• often missed work
• didn’t perform up to par in their tasks while at work
• barely showed up at your activities
• live to drink and party on weekends

…while fishing and hiking suddenly became the last thought on their minds, these would be signs of a problem.

Another main sign is that their everyday personality starts to change. They might become more short-tempered and agitated when they definitely weren’t like that before. Addicts often become secretive and ashamed of what has become their addiction, so parents may forbid their children of speaking of their using.

Addicts lose control over their addiction, so if they are using every single day or so often that it begins to affect their life, health, or personality that is a definite cause for alarm.

If any of these examples sound all too familiar, the child of the possible addicts should consider talking to someone such as another family member, guidance counselor, or family friend about the concerns. Denial is the hallmark of addiction, so most likely, the parents will not admit it. Addiction is often a tough diagnosis, so there is no way to be 100% sure which is why others should be aware so they could also be on the lookout for the signs.

ADDICTION BLOG: How do parents try to hide their addiction?  

BRIA RILEY: Secrecy. They will often tell their child to not dare tell anyone of their using or activities related to their using. If the child tells someone, they become livid and may even implement punishment.
They may also lie to their child about where they have been, what they have been doing, and how often they have used.

When family or other spectators are around, they suddenly act like everything is stable by lying about aspects of their lives that may have been affected by their using such as their job, money, bills, activities, and using if it is a substance or behavior that it is not taboo such as alcohol, gambling, or prescribed painkillers.

ADDICTION BLOG: How can I help my parents?  

BRIA RILEY: There is no real way for the children of addicts to “help” their parents; the parents have to make their own decision to seek help. If they feel that their parent is that far gone, they can arrange an intervention, call the State’s Department of Health and Social Services, or seek help from another adult who they trust. When their parents are in recovery, kids can be loving and supportive, which will make their parents feel good about their decision to choose recovery.

ADDICTION BLOG: What should I do if/when violent behavior appears?

BRIA RILEY: Stay calm and try to not fight back or stop it. You do not want to get hurt. If it comes to the point that they are becoming physically abusive or doing any type of damage that affects others, do not hesitate to call the police, tell someone, request to live with someone else, or contact your state’s child protective services.

ADDICTION BLOG: What should my first step be when I see no way out in facing my drunk or drugged parent?

BRIA RILEY: It depends on the situation. If it is only a temporary thing like if they are really bad for a day or a few days, I would say to stay with a friend or another family member for a night or few nights. If living with them has become unbearable, I would start asking family members or any adult that is close to you that is in the position to care for you to live with them. Now if you’re a grown adult, it may break your heart, but you may just have to avoid contact with your parents.

ADDICTION BLOG: What do I need to do to take care of myself?

BRIA RILEY: They should definitely educate themselves on the disease of addiction so they understand what they are dealing with in terms of the complexity of the disease. They should definitely not become co-dependent (an enabler) by giving money, bailing out of jail, making excuses for work or other commitments, etc. Most importantly, they should seek help in Al-Ateen (teens) or Al-Anon (adults) meetings or other support groups, school guidance counselors, school social workers, outside counselors, or church members.

In the end, I hope that each child of an addict would all want to still live a fulfilling life so they should try to rise above by making positive decisions for themselves, and education plays a big role.

ADDICTION BLOG: Who else can I connect with so that I don’t feel so alone?

BRIA RILEY: The best way to not feel so alone is to find a group of people who can empathize (other children of addicts). The best place to find these people are support groups such as Al-Ateen or Al-Anon. Some schools may even have a support group, so I would advise that they check with a school guidance counselor or social worker. Some churches, hospitals, or other organizations may even have their own support groups. The friends made in these support groups usually become their best friends because they understand what they are going through. A person to vent to is also good to have such as a supportive family member, friend, pastor, teacher, or counselor.

ADDICTION BLOG: What do I need to do so that I don’t become an addict myself?

BRIA RILEY: Simple. Make the right decisions and monitor your behaviors throughout your life.

As I have mentioned in previous questions, education is key because it provides the opportunity and motivation for success and keeps you in line. Hang around peers who do not engage in drugs or alcohol. Believe it or not, you are who your friends are. If you never do drugs, you can’t become addicted to them, so simply choose to say, “No” to them. Now, in life, of course most people drink or gamble at some point or get injured or have a procedure that makes them need pain killers. You just have to be aware of these behaviors because addiction sneaks up on you and definitely runs in families.

ADDICTION BLOG: Do kids of addicts usually try to compensate for addiction? How?

BRIA RILEY: Sadly, I find that more children of addicts get caught up in the depression of their difficult lives that come with having addicted parents, so they may:

• turn to drugs or alcohol
• drop out of school
• perform poorly academically
• have an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy
• or even commit suicide

There is a statistic I once read saying that children of alcoholics are 85% more likely to commit suicide. On the other hand, there are also many children of addicts – like myself – who want to rise above their difficult lives that come with having addicted parents by making positive decisions such as:

• befriending the right people getting an education that will lead to a career
• getting a steady job
• becoming independent
• eventually having a loving, healthy, and stable family of their own

So, I believe that it all depends on the kid of the addict and what is going on up in their own head.

ADDICTION BLOG: What are some of the common ways that kids become adults in order to cope with addiction?  

BRIA RILEY: There are two directions they can really go in order to cope with addiction. As I’ve mentioned in the previous question, they either go down the negative or the positive path. Some of the negative ways they cope are to get caught up in their own addiction, promiscuity, crime, etc. Some of the positive ways they cope are doing well in school and making other positive decisions that will help them climb out of the unfortunate hole their parents’ addiction has put them in.

Just a side note: there are scholarships for children of addicted and/or incarcerated parents.

ADDICTION BLOG: Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?

BRIA RILEY: If you are a child of an addict or someone who is deeply affected by a loved one’s addiction, I want you to know that I feel your pain and I am writing this advice from my own experiences. I know that you feel a lot of pain and sadness because addiction destroys lives, but it does not have to consume you. You CAN OVERCOME your adversity. Anyone is strong enough and is capable of having the right mindset to do so.

I have learned that healing is not when the trauma no longer hurts; it is when you have overcame it and can make something good and beautiful out of it. Even though I have accomplished many great things, I still feel the hurt and brokenness and sometimes have tears streaming down my face in bed at night.

If you are an addict, I beseech you to get help. Using is just a symptom to a deeper emotional problem, and you can be set free of your demons if you just seek help. Not only what you are doing is hurting you, but it is hurting your loved ones as well. Life in recovery is beautiful and can be full of greatness if you just give it a chance. I would also like to tell you that the best way to heal a broken heart is to give God all of the pieces. If you do not believe in God, at least have a higher power because that is what will help you put things in perspective and keep you sane. God Bless.

Photo credit: Lucian Milasan